


holding him together

by Teddy0414



Category: Anne with an E (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Anne and Gilbert, F/M, Gilbert is in love, anne being a good friend, anne being an angel though, anne comforts him, but then it's not shirbert if there's no slow burn and pining, more than anything though, oblivious anne, sad gilbert
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-01
Updated: 2019-07-01
Packaged: 2020-06-02 10:32:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,255
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19439668
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Teddy0414/pseuds/Teddy0414
Summary: Gilbert doesn't need to be reminded that his father's gone, there are enough suffocating memories in Avonlea for that.orin which Anne finds a breaking Gilbert and holds him together.





	holding him together

His father was dead. It felt like a mistake in that moment, to come back to Avonlea, to this tiny schoolhouse with its indifferent teacher. His father was dead, and Mr. Phillips cared about his stupid farming metaphor. Gilbert wanted to run, but he wouldn’t give Mr. Phillips the satisfaction. So, he forced himself into his seat and opened his book. He could see Anne staring out of the corner of his eye, but he couldn’t bring himself to look in her direction either. He just stared at the page, keeping his jaw clenched tightly to keep back the tears. Once they were dismissed, he dashed out of there as quickly as he could. There would be no peace for him, not with all the people staring. _Poor Gilbert Blythe,_ everyone's eyes always seemed to say. 

He didn’t go home. He didn’t think he could bear walking up the worn path where he had once played with his father but now always found his eyes drawn to where all his family was buried, or sit in the room where his father had once read to him and years later coughed up blood all over the sheets. Even the thought made his eyes fill up with hot and angry tears. He dashed them away and began to run, but he couldn’t outrun the memories in his own head. He tripped over a root and crumpled to the ground somewhere near Anne’s Lake of Shining Waters, and just lay there, his eyes squeezed tightly shut.

It was only the soft sound of footfalls that made him get up. He rubbed his hands across his face, trying to hide his current state and ready to snap at the intruder when he saw who it was. _Anne._ “What are you doing here?” he asked, and even though he didn’t want it to, his voice came out sounding rough.

She didn’t move, simply stared at him with so much gentle sympathy and understanding that he was forced to look away first. “Is it what Mr. Phillips said?” she asked.

It wasn’t. Or well, maybe it was, a little. The memories had been suffocating him since he’d stepped off the steamer. They were in every step he took, every person he spoke to. He tried, he tried so hard to bury them deep inside, and Mr. Phillips had wrested his control away in that simple, cruel way of his. “Yes. No. I just—”

She opened her arms, looking more hesitant than he ever wanted to see her be, and carefully wrapped them around him. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d been hugged like this. Anne was steady. Anne was safe. Anne understood that he couldn’t talk about it. He didn’t know how long they stood like that, with him crying into her shoulder and her holding him together and whispering soft reassurances in his ear. She didn’t promise that it would be easy, but she promised that he could get through it, and for just a moment he believed that maybe he could.

“Thank you,” he said, pulling away from her after what felt like hours. Somehow a simple thank you didn’t feel good enough to express just how much that had meant to him.

Anne smiled. He’d missed that smile, no matter how much he might deny such a thing to anyone who asked. “I’ll walk you home,” she said.

He didn’t bother protesting, only held out his hand to carry her books, which she handed over rather reluctantly. He didn’t know what to say, and she seemed to understand that he was a little too weary to be questioned.

She filled the air with her chatter instead, and Gilbert knew that was something he could have listened to forever. “Yesterday, I was in the barn with Jerry, and he simply couldn’t understand why I find the winter so beautiful. I think it’s quite splendid when the snow blankets everything and makes it look so pure and fresh. I think Jerry just isn’t very romantical, wouldn’t you agree?”

Gilbert really didn’t know, but he nodded anyway, and that seemed to satisfy her. On she went, talking about everything from how she and Diana wanted to build a snowman soon, how she couldn’t wait for the holidays because everything was so much more romantical with Christmas around the corner, and how she was happy that Matthew seemed to be doing just fine. She didn’t even mention school or Mr. Phillips, nor did she touch on his long absence or that his eyes were red and puffy, and his clothes stained from his time on the ground. He smiled wanly for her, and she looked so very proud that he decided that he could face his fears for her sake.

When they approached the Blythe farm, he tried to keep going as if nothing was wrong, but his eyes strayed to the family cemetery and the smile dropped right off his face. Anne followed his gaze. She stopped talking then, gently prying her books and slate from his hands to swing it over her shoulder. Taking the hand that was now free, she squeezed it gently. “Don’t look,” she said quietly.

He squeezed it back tightly and forced himself to look at her instead. Her expression was still gentle, her eyes still that lovely shade of blue-green, and her hair still fiery. More like a bright autumn leaf than the carrots to which he had once compared it. Her cheeks were mildly pink, whether from the cold or his stare he could not tell. The thought distracted him long enough that he barely noticed the rest of their walk to the front door.

“Thank you,” he said again. She was a lifeline, tethering him to the here and now even when a storm of memories threatened to whisk him away. “I’m sorry I—”

She shook her head fiercely. “Gilbert Blythe, don’t you dare apologize for any of this! Mr. Phillips is a cruel, cruel man, and you’ve been having a hard time. None of that is your fault, none of it. Alright?”

Since he truly seemed to be at a loss for words today, he simply nodded.

Anne squeezed his hand once more, then let go. They spent a moment too long looking into each other’s eyes, though Gilbert would gladly have spent hours on the task, and this time she looked away first.

“I should go,” she said. “Marilla will be worried. I’ll see you tomorrow?”

He nodded again, his lack of words around Anne only one more thing on the list of his frustrations. “See you,” he managed, and stood by the door until she was out of sight.

…

Anne stayed awake long into the night, unable to rid herself of the image of how terribly heartbroken Gilbert had looked. A year away hadn’t healed his wounds, she didn’t think they would ever heal completely. She understood what it was like to feel alone in the world, and she vowed that she wouldn’t let Gilbert think that no one cared about him.

So, if she left carefully wrapped scones in his coat pocket for the next week, or copied her English notes to slip into his notebook when he wasn’t looking on a day when he looked as though the very thought of sitting in school made him want to cry, it was only because he was a dear friend and she wanted him to smile. There was nothing romantical about this. No, there was nothing romantical at all.

**Author's Note:**

> I watched this series in two days flat, and loved every second of it. Anne of Green Gables was one of the only classics I enjoyed as a child, and to see it on screen made me so unbelievably excited. I love the changes they made to the storyline and decided I absolutely had to write something while I slowly die waiting for Season 3.  
> I thought that Gilbert looked so terribly upset when Mr. Phillips was being his usual hateful self, and I don't think anyone missed the worried look Anne gave him. Anyways, I hope you enjoyed my first (but hopefully not last) Anne with an E fic!  
> I would love to fangirl about this with anyone so if you wanna, hit me up on tumblr at auri-australis


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